Does your own personal deity care what you put in hoo ha?

The premise of the question does your own personal deity care what you put in your hoo ha is not meant to be gender exclusive.   I suppose it has a lot more to do with people and their own comfort or discomfort with masturbation at least on the surface.

Even if your own personal deity doesn’t care what you put in hoo ha their duly appointed representatives might.  Sexual repression is an unfortunate fact of life.  In the past the homophobic and pro gay lifestyle types clash in the media, in the different churches and in the military.  I don’t expect the world to understand or accept Poly, Swinging or BDSM beyond crude humor and TV crime show references.  It would be nice but I don’t expect the sexually repressed main stream to even try to understand  yet I’ll venture to guess that at one point or another just about everyone has known a gay person, swinger, sexual deviant, or adulterer of some form or fashion even is the puritan wasn’t aware of it.  Hell it might even be their minister or his daughter and I knew a few of those over the years.  The local elected state official or their daughter with an affinity for being spanked while wearing clothespins on her nipples. I’m just saying one might be out there wink, wink, nod, nod.

Still despite all the repression and consequences for our sexuality I like to think the world is getting better and less concerned with what is going on in our bedrooms but certainly it’s not.  I have read posts and passing comments about people are afraid they are going to be outed.  In many ways I’m in the same boat, few people have seen my face or know my birth name.  Without a doubt there are social and economic ramifications but a lot of us still write our blogs, go to outings, hit the occasional conference, and spend as much time as possible with our friends.  To not do those things would be denying part of who we are.  In the case at hand it was an acquaintance of the Chesty Blonde who had the problem.  She was not a sex positive type, not a swinger, and as sure as hell not openly kinky.  In fact there might be a picture of her  in the Universal Kinkster’s Dictionary next to the term Nilla.  She is a monogamous married mother of three.  Still someone frowned upon her sexuality, thought it best to notify the local deities representatives and it cost her a job.

What was her sin?  Did she show up topless at a family friendly event?  Nope.   Did she get caught having sex in public?  Again no.  Sex with someone other than her spouse?  Not that its anyone else’s business but no.  Strut her stuff at a pride parade?  I’m not sure she even knows what that is.  Out of all the possibilities her moral crime was inviting other married women to a sex toy party at her own home. Not a lesbo gang bang filled with girl on girl action rolling around with strap ons and biting each others pierced tits but the equivalent of the modern Tupperware party.  Really there are people in this day and age is worried about married women in their thirties buying vibrators?  Give me a fucking break no wonder your priests have issues that could be fixed by a good hooker or a copy of Hustler and a little lube.  Perhaps Rebecca was jerking me off under my desk that day in high school catholic dogma class but I sure don’t remember my religion teacher covering thou shall not put anything in thy pussy other than dick.  Trust me I’d have remembered even if it got brought up while getting a hand job.

We’ve all heard it, the history of men being afraid of women’s pleasure, all the stereo types in our culture and the stupid guidelines about what is and isn’t appropriate. Earlier today I found myself replying to a tweet and in a playful manner was going to ask “who really wants innocent anyway?”

There is nothing wrong with innocence for our youth as a matter of fact even in my house where we are very open about sex and sexuality we use tact and restraint when discussing things.  We are also radicals and teach the girls about the importance of safe sex at any age, about being careful in their relationships, with what they share as they get older, and gasp prenuptial agreements.  My hope is that we are raising kids who will be comfortable in their own skin and with their own sexuality if not in their teens certainly by the time they are in their 20’s.

I thought of doing research on what major religions teach in regards to masturbation and masturbation within a monogamous relationship.  Frankly I was afraid to since I simply can’t stand the thought of a world where millions of people are taught that such a simple and natural thing is wrong.  (Here’s a quick link if curiosity gets the better of you) I thought sex toys had become main stream and maybe they have. I thought that intelligent women who know what they like sexually and are willing to experiment and express it is exactly what the world needed more of.  And mistakenly I thought what I did on my own time in the privacy of my own home with other adults was no one else’s god damn business.

So what was the outcome?  She canceled the party but her faith based employer refused to continue her tenure on “moral grounds”.  The Blonde asked me my thoughts “maybe the NCSF” I said “or the AFL CIO” wondering aloud.  I was clueless as for where to send the woman.  No listen the Blonde told me “They told her she could still work there but only as a full time volunteer” .   So the moral of this story your own personal deity only cares what you do with your genitals if their duly appointed representatives are paying you.  I guess you can shove whatever you like in your cooter as long as you’re willing to work for free. Fucking greedy assholes.

Woman Masturbating to Playboy MagazineAnd now I return you to your regularly scheduled impure thoughts.

The Sexiness Beneath

Sexy Lingerie, Sexuality, and some Random thoughts about Beauty and Confidence

So there is the scene in old school where Frank the Tank (the Will Ferrell Character) is sitting in couple’s therapy with his rail thin not so hip wife.  He was talking about wondering what kind of panties a waitresses may have been wear and his wife’s disgust grew with each passing word.  At the heart of the matter it was a classic case of where boys are just boys and the typical woman is uptight about it.  Fortunately for me it’s not a world I live in.  Oh sure I wonder, at times I might even ask after all I exist to be a shameless flirt.  The difference is my partner the Chesty Blonde only worries about Brunettes.  Given my history with raven haired women and bad choices it’s probably a legitimate concern.

So my good friend Victoria sends me all kinds of things, but this ad captures that wondering like little else I’ve seen.  Sure it’s stylized, sure she is a model type and not the average woman, but at the very end its her eyes that tell the story.  It is her eyes that make it so very alluring.

Sexiness for everyone from Glow Berlin on Vimeo.

Odds are though if you’re reading this though you’re the type of soul; male or female that has the exact kind of thoughts Frank the Tank did.  What is that hot woman wearing or not wearing.   Is she a thong, g string or briefs kind of girl.  Do you imagine her in red lace, black silk, maybe even a little crotchless number or even latex panties.

So often as I pass through the airports, hotel lobbies and skyscrapers of the world occasionally looking across the way and seeing a woman that I can only hope is an enlightened sexual creature, confident, bold, adventurous and beautiful in her own unique way.   Sadly though more often than not it’s probably not the case.  This isn’t about being Poly, a swinger, or even kinky.  It’s about a healthy body image and attitude toward sex for a purpose other than procreation.  Sex for pleasure, for a connection to another soul and even for the release it brings.

What bothers me is really that so many people male and female seem to have poor self images.  Body hang ups and god knows what else.  Is it a by product of media and advertising? Maybe to some extent but god knows there are enough religious and political organizations both on the left and the right ( Christian coalition & National Organization for Women are two examples) who are in their own way propagating the debate with their own don’t flaunt it or exploit it messages.  Modesty has its place but I wonder how much if affects suzy the soccer mom’s own self image and sexual practices with in the confines of her own relationship (marriage counts).

Granted I’m a hedonist with a kinky streak so when the word representative public gets thrown around I don’t fit the bill.  I’ve been to nude beaches, sex parties, kink events, and “specialty resorts” in the course of my adult life.  I don’t look like an underwear model and I’m not hung like a John Holmes but at the end of the day somewhere along they way and in my case early one I figured out I liked sex for sex’s stake.  My body wasn’t a lot better or any worse than anyone else’s and became comfortable in my own skin almost immediately.

It seems that swingers and kinksters have embraced who they are and what gets them off perfection be damned.  I’m not looking for the perfect scene, the greatest lay, or the divine blow job.  Intending rather to make the most of each and every encounter, and try to get your partner off more than yourself is the simple philosophy that has worked for me for years.  I listen to my traditionally minded friends whine about their partners, the lack of sex, creativity, or adventure.  I wonder why don’t they bring it up?  Are they afraid to ask and find a compromise that works for both of them? Everyone has boundaries but are they real limits or ones that were established to keep their own hang-ups covered.  Is the other one really that uptight?

In one example I know that to be the case but in all fairness I’m not sure I could keep up with her appetites but it would be damn fun trying and probably nothing a nice collection vibrators, a stack of batteries, a few good sized butt plugs, some lube and a little less sleep wouldn’t pacify.  Then again I love a challenge and would fuck her six ways from Sunday as warm up all while she talked like a filthy little slut the entire time.  The last part is an assumption since she makes ordering dinner seem so very dirty.

I choose to live in an adult amusement park.  I know that everybody has hang ups, issues and short comings and sex is no different than anything else.   Maybe my reality isn’t any more real than those storybook characters in fables and fantasyland.  My Fantasy land is different, its where everyone feels sexy no matter who they are and what they do.  Not everyone has a water proof vibe by their tub, a bullet vibrator in their purse, and a toy bag next to their bed filled with things to meet their every need and then some when shared with a partner they are connected with.  Still I like to think they do.  I very much choose to live in a world where no matter what everyone sees their own sexiness underneath whatever it is they pass through the world as.  A world where people don’t utter slut at a woman who chooses to show her body off, or whore at someone who profits from her own sexuality.  I’ve always said we’re all whores in my case its my mind I whore out on a daily basis.

I wonder how much all of the name calling and judging is based on personal beliefs rather than perceptions caused by the view of their own body issues.

Now about those panties?  Trust me it’s OK my wife is wondering the same exact thing and yes she does have a vibrator or two in her purse.  As a matter of fact she might be wearing one right now and this is the wireless remote.  So do you want to try it out?