or both chances are you aren’t a plain vanilla white bread type.
Well either that or you find my insane diatribes amusing or are
keeping an eye on me to make sure I’m not really the Anti Christ in a
Canali Suit. I’m lying of course I don’t wear Canali suits…shirts
on occasion but not their suits. Only Because I’m far more
traditional in that sense.

Anyhow A few posts back I told a
story about being old. It was funny because it was true. Fair
enough this is another true story, it might be funny, it might be
offensive and it reminded me of why in most places I’m so guarded.

It was a date night for me but not
with the Blonde it was the Father Daughter dance at my Youngest’s
School. She’s 10 in the 4^th grade and I know that in the
next year of so I won’t figure into the equation that is her life
quite as much. From there my relevance and position will only
diminish. So I treasured the night. We had dinner with some of her
friends and their fathers, we went to the social hall inside a church
(and lightning didn’t strike). Last year she danced with only me,
this year she was off with her friends after making sure I was cool
with it. Which was thoughtful and cool by itself.

On the Surface I have a fairly typical
corporate life, a classic family configuration and look like every
other blue blood most of the time. Recently I was asked to join a
men’s social organization…it was something that even the Blonde
Questioned with “you’re not really considering it are?”

To which the reply was. “Lets
see…I’m an Atheist who writes pornography for fun, has very kinky
tendencies, quotes Vonnegut, and openly supports gay rights…do you
think I’ll fit in?” A long smart assed version of NO!

So any how the night wore on and there
was Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana songs followed by a few more
main stream pop tunes…then High School Musical. All very tame.
Sure my kid didn’t get why they weren’t playing her requests for
Prince tunes but knew that getting them to play Queen or Zappa was
out of the question. Her musical tastes are as eclectic as her
fathers.

Well then it happened….Katy Perry “I
Kissed a Girl” came across the speakers. The 6 of the 8 dads at my
table started to squirm. Now was it the most appropriate song for 1^st
through 5^th grade kids? Probably not but they all knew
the words and were dancing like mad. It was to quote the song
“innocent”. (FYI I have blogged about disliking the song but not
because I think it will make people do ”immoral things” but
because it was in my estimation yet another piece of worthless pop
music)

They went on and on about would the
priests approve! I thought gee I don’t l know but do we approve of
all the priests that have taken advantage of children over the
decades. I kept my mouth shut.

The Diatribes continued and “How
could they play that song” and the typical puritan homophobic type
stuff. As a point of fact I had wondered into a local watering hole
with a few of these same men a week prior and they had no problem
watching two same sex couples fornicating in front of some local red
neck band (Who were actually quite good).

I wondered what they would think if
they knew I had gay friends. Not that I cared for myself but for my
daughter. I wondered how many had an even slightly creative or
artistic bone in their body. Did they ever roam up and down the
Jersey Shore, in to the City down into Maryland living like a
hedonistic nomad in their youth. I doubted it.

The topic of music came up again and
three of us sat fairly silent for a while just listening. This is
the one area of life where I have trouble keeping the facade of who I
am suppose to be and who I am. Very few things get me off in life,
Great Sex, a runners high, a good caffeine buzz, and a song that
touches a nerve.

After hearing how they all “protect”
their kids from this stuff. When asked how I control what my kids
listen to I had to be honest. “I tell them if they are going to
listen to a song or sing the words then they have to tell me what the
words mean if I ask and that if I find out they buy the censored
version of a song they are supporting closed minded fascists which is
very uncool.”

While most turned white, a few got
uncomfortable and I think one Physically wretched.

The conversation evolved, but I was
given a wide berth. It was painfully obvious that we didn’t exactly
share the same values. As the evening wore down we danced a few
more dances and then Piled in a car to go home. I had bummed a ride
with one of the other kids and on the way home the three girls in the
back broke into “I Kissed a Girl” The dad was upset, you could
see him literally turning red. So calmly I asked my kid to sing a
different sing. After being slightly stunned since she had never had
such a request before she just changed to something else with her
friends following suit. The irony here is it was the rap pop thing
“low” which to me other than not being about bisexuality is not
better than the previous selection for subject matter.

Before we got through the front door
she asked “why did you ask me to sing a different song?” I have
the policy of being direct and open. The song was upsetting Mr. B
offering nothing more. She looked at me “well then I guess we
shouldn’t have him over to the same part as T & M” And she
bounced off unphased to tell everyone else about the evening.

T happens to be the mother of one of my
kids friends. M is her partner. And I was so proud that my own kid
seemingly has such an accepting perspective. To her it was as normal
as me and the Blonde being her parents.

As a bonus note on a not related to
this topic I have this to say to a certain Council member who is
trying to stop the winter race series I run in (not that he’ll ever
get to read it) because he doesn’t want have to wait for runners to
pass by when he’s going going to church.

HEY FUCK WAD PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE! IF
YOU KEEP BITCHING ABOUT THE 4 TIMES A YEAR WE RUN BUY I WILL
PERSONALLY ORGANIZE AN INFORMAL SUNDAY MORING RUN THAT PASSES YOUR
HOUSE EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR.

Fucking Hypocrite!