Well my friends if you’re reading this odds are you are one of the truly devoted, a personal friend, truly deranged or happened across something you thought would be salacious. Allowing of course for the mathematical possibility of any given combination of the two could in fact exist. If we’ve communicated here or else where and you don’t want to read the entire post who could blame you? Certainly not me given what I am about to say since it is not my standard fare. Despite that if nothing else please do scroll to the end where the italics appear and read that portion. And so we begin…..

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I’ve said it before I used to fuck a Socialist, Hell I’ve written those words here and a few other places over the years. There is nothing quite like Sex and Politics for stirring up a debate. In part in jest and in part I’ve attempted to share my views with you if for no other reason to but to entertain and let you into a small corner of my world.

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In truth I was very much use to be in love with a socialist (sorry babe facts are facts now might be a good time to stop reading because its not censored at all), I was not in love with her beliefs, ironically she was deeply religious, VERY Catholic and I was a humanist at best and an atheist most often. This however is not a religious debate.

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I was not in love with her political views, if there was a poster child for the Bleeding Heart Liberal she would have been it. Sure there were those tender moments, a snowy night in particular comes to mind it was dark, we had sleds she was wearing a yellow ski suit her long dark locks cascading out of a white knit hat. Lying in the snow at the top of a hill along the tree line looking at the stars; its when we had our first political disagreement. As a point of fact it was over the Idea of universal health care. The year was 1989. She thought I was cold, unsympathetic. This was before being politically correct was in vogue. Guess what? I listened and she was as mystified as to why I didn’t care for my fellow man equally. I didn’t feel anyone was not my equal just simply that if I earned something whether by blood, sweat, and tears or sheer dumb luck it was mine and fuck everybody else. I have never been an idealist not as a child filled with fancy and not now. Yet I was young and dumb and very much in love her for far more than her body and the questionable political views and depraved sexual acts we’d enjoy together. I believed our country was great and stood for something important.

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I can still feel her not as a remembrance of a lovers touch but slandering my birth name and political views in the comfort of her current ivory tower academic post. While I have used this name to mock both sides of the aisle of the political world and lampooned my own life in the private sector it has never been my intention to be political here. Just to point out the absurd and have a laugh or two. At heart I’m an not a Republican or a Democrat. I’m not even a Libertarian I stand firmly between an Anarchist and George Washington who was a smart guy who knew enough to not trust the very Government he created…..

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I wondered and mused about how the housing bubble had burst last summer, I talked about running through a subdivision where a family that had been foreclosed on had their possessions piled in the front lawn. It was upsetting it was traumatizing. It was the result of so many unforeseen factors. I neither knew them or their circumstances but guess what I could relate none of us I would venture are ever really that far from our worlds collapsing. I wondered what my beloved Socialist Ex would have thought, what would she have said if we had been there together that morning. Instead I came home and told the Blonde about it. It was a passing note on an otherwise uneventful day. Still I couldn’t get the image out of my mind.

My lovely raven haired socialist would have said that the system failed that the state should have stepped in. At the end of it all I’d have to disagree…in plain fact people like me failed. We failed as shareholders to ensure the institutions were lending responsibly that the equivalent of teaching kids new math wasn’t happening. One plus one will never equal 412 no mater how much we’d like it to. Who knows if the owner had over extended or had something tragic happened. I have friends and acquaintances who aren’t working and desperately want to. I know of thousands more whose jobs are in jeopardy based on which way the chips fall. Seemingly there is not much we can do to stop it.

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Have you ever created new jobs? Built a company from scratch or taken one though a large expansion? I have and while those are the things that if I shared my resume with you I would boast about but I’ve been on the down side of that equation as well. What I can tell you is there are nights when people like me and far above me don’t sleep at all. Not when times are good and not when they are bad. Many of us corporate villains don’t sleep because are worried about the business and people are an inherent part of any business. I have never looked across the table at a man or woman who was about to lose their jobs and not thought of them as my responsibility and my failure not theirs.

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A VP who I knew and had an understanding with won my undying support when his hard vicious exterior showed true humanity last fall as a company was forced to reduce its staff. He took it personally, as his failure and that he let those people down. I’ve been that guy across the table letting people go. I knew where he was and how it felt. Even when you see a bull in a ….China…. shop wearing a Brooks Brothers suit don’t put us all in the same category. Some times it happens because it simple is a fact of business and others because the grim reality is we simple didn’t need their services anymore. In any of those cases they weren’t bad people. None of them had stolen from the company and even if they had there would be no joy in it.

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My Socialist lover would wrapped herself around me so I couldn’t slip away into the night. Either that or she was cold or possible craved the genuine affection. I’d wake her with a good swat on the ass to announce in a not so subtle way I was ready for more. More of what ever struck my fancy and hers. It was a rude awakening in many ways. Sine those youthful days I’ve laid in bed awake countless times and looked across at the Blonde. Not once swatting her while she was asleep. During the day that sort of thing is inbounds but at night well her sleep is scared and mine is rare. In the dead of the night as I laid there silently it was at those times and understood why people live in gated communities with security details when a person has to do those things no matter how necessary and ugly things can spiral out of control. I’ve wished I had afforded my family that level of protection. My old lover however daring she was and willing to try anything who I imagine still sits and laments how whoever she supports can fix it all for us, how we should all be responsible has never created one damn job with a dime of profit she made. Those we have elected on both sides of the argument are not much better. Should we trust them to fix anything? Personally I wouldn’t let them change my tires.

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As a rude awaking last fall’s economic meltdown made me think. It should have made you think it too. Personally it was the adult equivalent of finding out that everything you believed in was a lie. I was a full card carrying capitalist. I almost shredded that card. I’ve seen my own parents who believed in the system and the free market lose a vast amount of their life’s savings, not due to risky investments but due to the failure of all that we held dear failing them. Nothing tragic but rather than a redistribution of wealth it was an evaporation of their savings. Will they lose their home…no. Will they not go out as often or see their grandchildren as much…that sadly will be the case.

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So as much as I hate it when U2 preaches at me or movie stars, athletes and politicians tell me what to think. So I ask that you take the time to read the current bills in front of congress. I’ve put away the ropes and toys to do the same for a while. Understand the implications of what has been done both by Bush and the Republicans and by Obama and the Democrats. If you agree with them then by all means support them if not tell them!

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Write your senators and congressmen with your own well founded opinion pro and con. Go to town hall meetings, go to city hall for god’s sake understand the points and impact to the best of your ability and don’t take any answer they or any media outlet including morons like me give you. Really know it like 1+1=2 and keep knowing it.

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As a dear Aussie friend always says “good bye for now”.

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I’m not deleting the profile and will put up one last post in the next few weeks linking to a long three part Introspection piece I did a few months ago about a friend who I met up with again after nearly 20 years. If you’re interested it’s a close look into how I view my own day to day world. For the first time I’ll know how it looks to another who lived those moments with me.

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On here I’ve been absent more than I’ve been present. I don’t have it in my heart to write erotica, or to poke fun at the political systems these times are far too serious for me to do that. I’ve tried but learned in life to only do what there is a true passion for and now that passion is dormant. I’ll still be reading, and commenting but will apologize for falling dreadfully behind in advance. If you’re on twitter add me there under what else but malflic and send me a note. In the mean time I’m going to focus all of my effort personally in creating maybe just one or two new jobs where I’m at and a maybe one or two in my side ventures over time. All of this while I seriously entertain the idea of beginning a political life, not out of need, not out of ego or even idealism but out of disgust. I feel like another voice screaming in a stadium and maybe just maybe if I yell a little louder, risk a little more personally we can shake the bastards who are fucking everything up and actually be heard.

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If that’s the road I take I don’t expect to be elected but I will not go quietly even as this voice of mine falls silent. I promise if I get summoned to testify before congress because of a dissenting opinion or an unsympathetic voice bordering on being an enemy of the state I’ll wear my pink shirt from the profile so you know its really me. So as I said before…good bye for now…

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Postlude….

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I’m sure I will miss some people I should thank here but please take these next words as intended…as genuine thanks and admiration for all of you. ….

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To The Good Reverend Sleestaxx…I’m embracing the anger with in. I’m going to unleash its fury on the world and while I do that I’ll be thinking of Henry Rollins and his Bird ….Bath….. All the while I’ll try not to come off as crazy as Dean Howard and Wendy O on a bender…but no promises ….

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To the Naked Nurse – You’ve given me some of the best bed time reading I’ve ever enjoyed. With out exception I look forward to every new post and do miss some of the more personal stories from a while back, albeit the latest was very sad. Quit giving your stuff away. You’re a special lady and far too talented to stay published only here, take a chance be a wild girl, buckle down sell some of your stories and make some money with your writing gifts. I’ll always be cheering for you and willing to help in any way that I can. ….

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Sabrina – I enjoyed seeing some lighter writing from you lately not that the dark wasn’t wondrous and insightful. Its great to see you continuing on and others taking notice and appreciating your talents. All the best to you and the Viking. FYI It looks like Sept will be my next trip your way…..

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Sweettalk – you know where to find me come hockey season and I know where to find you and those lovely words you create. Next year I’ll be sure to get s few pics of Mario’s house for you…..

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Cupid you always with out fail made me smile and laugh. Not an easy task…..

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Macidy if you ever show back up and read this I miss your well thought out angry rants…..

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Innocent Brat – Someday I’ll make it back to your part of the world. If I do I’ll drop you a line…..

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To all my other friends here than you so much for the comments, conversation and writing I have truly enjoyed it.

Still as patriots and good god fearing people, unless like me you don’t believe in god, think modern justice is a twisted farce and know damn well that I am Santa Claus in my house, now bring on the woodland fairies so we can engage in a Meade fueled drunken orgy. No Pixies either? Fuck it. It sucks to be a disbeliever! How about some Vodka, and three Bi female swingers two of whom have rock’in implants? Damn right comrade I love America! However I digress, are we, or more specifically am I a threat to our (once) great nation.

Join me on my quest to find out if I in fact am an enemy of the state.

Lets start with this. A lovely report published with much ballyhoo and back lash before falling by the wayside for other blurbs about some necrophiliac rabbi and what certain senators may or may not have been aware of while dolling our hard earned tax dollars to AIG. The Report was issued by the great state of Misery.

As many of you know I’m not a fan of this flyover state…I find it well dull, uninspiring, backward, and overly and blatantly Midwestern. And I mean that in the least flattering way possible. (I can hear the other flat landers telling me to go back…gladly!)

You can read it if you like but essentially. Blah blah blah…Guns. Here’s an idea stop fucking people over and you won’t have to worry about their guns.

Blah Blah Blah something about a “New World Order”. Which even though I’m not a wrestling fan have in past years flipped through enough TV stations while sitting aimlessly in a hotel room to know that the New World order is just a bunch of guys in tights running around sweating and grunting while pretending to hurt each other. Its like a big gay spandex clad dungeon party except there aren’t any whips, testicle clamps or safe words, and there are more voyeurs than normal. Not my thing but apparently my state considers this a big deal. Afraid of juiced up guys in tights. Next thing you know they’re going to tell me the WWF has something to do with saving Bambie and not clubbing baby seals. Still I’m not big on grown men in tights unless…well actually there’s not an Unless. Mark this one off I might NOT be suspect here.

Blah Blah Blah…Supporters of Ron Paul. OK Republicans from Texas seem to be a big concern. After 8 years of Bush I get that one. Once again I’m actually safe.

Blah, Blah, Blah, Sons of Liberty…I’m not sure if I have any of their music but I have the Sisters of Mercy’s Greatest hits. Does that count? If so Sing this Corrosion to me!

Now lets see some of the things I probably am Guilty of

I’m opposed to Federal Income Tax…I’m opposed to most things I have no say in or control of that are forced upon me. Vegetables at dinner as a child for one. So check the list for that one. Guilty and damn proud of it. Some how I have the sad sorry and twisted idea that my job is to make money for myself and not to help out the rest of the fucking world and for the record mom technically watermelon is a fucking vegetable.

The report featured a lot of guys in Cammo. As a Kid I owned GI Joe Dolls and Cammo Pants Actually in my Junior year of college I had a room mate who had a fetish for ROTC Girls in BDU’s I’m not sure thats a damning fact but certainly is disturbing on so many levels that I’m bringing it up yet again nearly 20 years later.

Do I believe there is a master conspiracy…Hell no no one could fuck things up this bad intentionally. It was done by a bunch of self serving jack asses with different agenda’s. Its not a conspiracy its stupidity.

Do I believe in the economic collapse of the United States…Really you have to ask that? Have you seen the News in the last 10 Months. How about your 401k statement? Which reminds me I need to finish filling out my bailout request for the feds. I like to call it my Basic Income Growth Personal Emancipation Negative Income Support or B.I.G. P.E.N.I.S. Support plan to those in the know.

After all how would the world survive without another albatross proforma based use of tax payer money littered with obscene bonuses? It couldn’t then there would be nothing else on the news to be outraged about.

Lets take a closer look at how very dangerous any one of us might be.

Can you read? If so that in an of itself is a problem. Its too late to deny it since you’re looking at this part of the page and it doesn’t contain pictures and wasn’t created with crayons.

Speaking of Crayons. Did you ever Intentionally color outside of the lines. I did in kindergarten and it was a tale tale sign of my Anarchist Anti Establishment tendencies. Who’s have guessed that miserable fat bitch teacher would be right.

Do you actually have thoughts of your own? Your in really big trouble then. There is very little more dangerous than a person who thinks and forms their own opinions.

Have you even been in a chat room? Yes but there was no politics going on. Speaking of which just last week a woman sent me an unsolicited picture of herself tied naked to a rack and asked if I’d like to whip her. Adding her husband won’t mind since he’s a fan. Funny I didn’t know I had fans and it seems like an odd way to start a correspondence but it was in fact memorable. On Second thought its no more odd than asking strangers for money through the mail which happens everyday.

Sure there’s more reasons the Government might actually worry about me. I don’t think I ran right out and spent my stimulus check from George W at Wally World. I do crazy rebellious things like showing up to vote. I’m a registered member of a major political party. I’ve written checks to support candidates who I liked and agreed with (mostly on a state and local level). And tell every one that’s listen how screwed up everything is and we all need to get off there asses and fix it.

And that my friends is why I most likely would be considered and enemy of the state, because I’ve taken very real and definite actions to change the face of Government.

God Damn my unpatriotic ass for using their system against them!

Add all these things up and top it off with I had lunch with a Libertarian the other day and there is no doubt that my godless, sex, driven, capitalist, existence makes me the the only thing I ever could be…a menace to society.

Funny my high school guidance counselor called me a bull shit artist who was wasting his life and talents…maybe I should have gone into politics.

]]> http://www.malflic.com/2009/03/31/am-i-a-domestic-terrorist-a-humorous-quest-for-personal-truth/feed/ 1 http://www.malflic.com/2008/08/28/the-jack-ass-convention-i-rock-ur-momma-and-joe-bisexuals-political-platform-in-review/ http://www.malflic.com/2008/08/28/the-jack-ass-convention-i-rock-ur-momma-and-joe-bisexuals-political-platform-in-review/#comments Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:10:52 +0000 malflic http://malflic.com/?p=49 This is political satire if you don’t like it leave because despite our governments best effort and yes it includes both the Bush and Clinton administrations equally. Free speech is still kind of protected by the constitution unless of course the above named duly (and I use the term duly very loosely in this scenario) elected officials disagree in which case it is no longer protected for the purposes of their political convenience. In that case you’re pretty much fucked and might as well have bought swamp land in Arkansas with a Koran stuck up you ass and a questionable name W’s TSA screening staff couldn’t pronounce because you’re never going to be heard from again. For the last time Miss Mary Security Screener my name is Polish not Armenian!

I am an equal opportunity offender all parties and persons are fair game. Politics are a joke so take it as one! Nothing like rich men with ego’s the size of say Venezuela pretending like they give a fuck about the rest of us. It’s the adult equivalent of a whore you dated in college saying I love you and then hanging up the phone to to be at the front of a TKE train. (No offense to TKE’s intended we all love a good gang bang now and then.)

Now on to the satire!

This week the top Jack Asses in the nation descended on the otherwise beautiful city of Denver Colorado to spew their self effacing vile political commentary in a desperate effort to appease the socialist nations of the world into once again liking us and taking our money and military support with a clean conscious. After all we all want to be like the French right? More on this later.

In the very beginning of the week I Rock Ur Momma announced in Ding field Ill a noise that he would continue to drive his platform of change in national politics into the collective consciousness of the lemmings who might vote for him on such a whimsical ideal of change. After all I’d like change! I’d like both political parties to stop wasting my money and fucking me in ass..financially of course with out the courtesy of lube, a reach around, or the first thought about the very fact that I might not like taking it up the ass to begin with.

So with such global political rock star status who would I Rock Ur Momma pick as his running mate to help change the political process? Bono ? Nah those two ego’s couldn’t co exist. Besides his views are far too liberal to be embraced bi the non tree hugging power base of the party. Well that and he’s not a citizen and he is a Christian which would be a message contrary to the “Islamic outreach” efforts I Rock Ur Momma’s campaign had been running.

Well with the only viable real rock start out of the picture, (although I’d vote for a ticket with Alice Cooper and Nikki Sixx on it; whiskey and heroin for every one). And despite the desperate out cries and mock political influence to pick his former pantsuit wearing competitor the reality is that if he picked the overly ambitious Billary Hinton he’d draw his last breath shortly after taking office faster than a pudgy little Jewish girl with a cigar in her kitty and spooge on her nice blue dress could disappear into oblivion.

It is quite a quandary as who could drive his platform of change. So why not pick a member of the established political machine as his “partner” in change. After all who better to work for change and innovative new ideas, reform. and all those other heady and nebulous campaign ideals like bringing power back to the people of this great nation than Joe Bisexual a long established card carrying member of the the political establishment.

Yes it would be a fabulous ticket of I Rock Ur Momma and Joe Bi Sexual from the great state of “you’d better beware”. He sports such wonderful accomplishments as lets see; he’s catholic so that makes him like Kennedy, He’s from Pennsylvania the spiritual home of mindless jack ass supporters for decades but so originally so am I.

As an aside once upon a time after the Catsup senator from Pennsylvania’s untimely demise and presumably before his widow started banging the metal tossing Senator from “Ass a chew this” I voted for Satan as a write in for a senatorial election, sadly I believe my vote was counted as a vote for Arlin Spector. My apologies to Beelzebub. Now back to the modern sodomy that is our political process.

Oh yes Joe Bi Sexual’s political accomplishments well he’s a six term senator so in short he’s managed to hold a job. That should count for something…I guess. He pretty much has a full head of hair at 65 a definite plus and has “ foreign relations experience”. To which I add oh yeah me too! I use to fuck and Italian girl six ways from Sunday, I did an Indian girl once to the Beastie Boys Rhymin and Stealin. Shamelessly cavorted doing all sorts of wild stuff with a series of girls from Toronto and St. Catherine’s Ontario. Does a three way with a girl from Kalamazoo and one from Mexico City count foreign relations? I like to think of it as Bi partisan international experience if you know what I mean.

Of course the jack asses trotted out to a standing and raucous ovation an aging peanut farmer from Georgia to celebrate the inflation rates, energy shortages and middle east crisis of the 1970′s. I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to bring back those good old days! Yeah 21% Mortgages and lines just like the commies. Heaven on Earth!

And then came Billary Hinton who has the audacity of having not given up hope. A fact she chronicles in her two latest books “ It takes a city to get these panties out of my enormous ass” and “My Philandering Husband, Cheap Hick Whores and Unattractive Offspring” (apologies to Chelsea on that. I know you didn’t pick your parents any more than those Bush Girls did).

She pretended to support I rock Ur Momma while praying for YHWH to smite her enemies. She is NY Jew right? No? She’s a frumpy girl from of all places Ill A Noise who became a baptist married to a pot smoking southerner but claimed a Jewish ancestor when running for office in NY. My bad!

In short this week’s political Olympics has never made me long more for in depth coverage of two guys from Toga and two guys from Burundi propelling a shuttle cock at each other at an increasingly faster and frenzied pace.

Do you think voting for a candidate, any candidate the French prefer and the EU is desperate for is the right thing to do? If so here’s a white flag and a big jar of lube you’re going to need it. Me I’ll be in, oh let’s say… Switzerland.

Join my next political satire during the other parties convention (I’m working on a clever name for them have no fear).