Donna waited nervously in the lobby of the Washington Hilton, the lobby littered with tourists, politico’s and conventioneers most likely attending a nation summit on the importance of some revolutionary widget that going to make it possible to send their oldest to the local state university rather than the community college, if they would only believe.

She wondered would they recognize each other, sure they had exchanged pictures in email but was the image of the other in their youth so ingrained in who they were looking for that they might blend one image into another. Meanwhile 15 floors above Paul’s family readied themselves for a busy day in the nation’s capitol, a day filled with monuments and tours, buses and taxi’s. A behind the scenes tour at the Kennedy center for his oldest daughter was the first stop of the day. She was after all a budding young thespian, assuming that her teen years didn’t turn her into a boy crazy imbecile and ruin her other ambitions and dreams for a life of boring mediocrity, an existence that is living but not a life.

Finally as the family headed for the elevator Donna was well on her way to participating the Husker’s favorite hobby, drinking coffee. Sitting among the suits and uniforms, intertwined with running shoe clad tourists who were blatantly American based on their girth and footwear choice, Donna fidgeting with her coffee in an overstuffed chair that matched many of the ego’s surrounding her. Paul’s brood stepped off the elevator, he was lagging behind his bickering children and a few steps behind his wife who was loaded down with the day’s supplies. She was obviously not of a gypsy’s decent since her load resembled that of a pack mule rather than a nomad.

Paul recognized her from across the room, Donna was staring off into the distance, finally spotting him as he had moved halfway across the lobby toward her. He kissed his wife, quickly reviewing the plans they had to meet back up later in the day. His approach toward Donna was as undaunted as it had been in his youth, his movements confident and unwavering, life had not worn away his resolve, at least not visibly on the surface and in his posture. Donna at first took particular notice of his wife, she was fit but still somehow very maternal looking. She quickly concluded the she was pretty in a Midwestern house wife kind of way. Donna imagined her in her team sweatshirt watching the local sports team play, cheering on little so & so or their friends.

Soon the awkward moment approached. How to greet each other, considering the years that had passed what would be appropriate? Donna worried, she had after all found him, and he in return had responded. They had gotten to know each other again through the occasional call and a litany of emails of late. She couldn’t shake the image of them in their youth. The one that was most common that she just couldn’t shake was of her as a teenager lying naked on a wooden picnic table in a musty old stone pavilion tucked away in the back corner of an obscure lush green state park.

All the thoughts that rushed through her head about his intentions and expectations eclipsed her other fears. Why were they meeting each other? What really was the purpose? All other those things would have to wait since Paul was now standing three feet away. As Donna stood he extended his hand, a formal completely appropriate and acceptable gesture. Donna stepped in and hugged him. She squeezed him tighter and tighter as his release resolved from odd and uncomfortable to familiar and warm. A touch that felt like time hadn’t moved. The embrace while of innocent intention brought back intense memories, the familiar touch of a lover’s arms.

He remembered how when they were together how he always felt so alive. Donna thought of how he never treated her as a whore or an object, as a passing plaything for his teenage lust. He had always been gentle with an unspoken softness and respect. Suddenly she realized how much and so long ago he treated her very much like the husker had of late been to her. Releasing their embrace the dialogue began “you still look like yourself” she began noticing that his look was still very much his own, a well kept more mature demeanor but still who he was and had been. Until that point she thought she was very much the same way. Old Stories were shared, lives and relationships casually explained away, nothing that was truly out of the norm for old friends. She spoke in generalities about the husker, provide vague details about him and her feelings but not of who he was or what he did, some things never really change Donna thought to herself, “I’m still sleeping with someone and keeping it a dirty little secret from others”. Oddly enough Paul spoke the same way about his family, instead of names he referred to them as his wife, oldest, youngest or son, some where in the process noting the oldest and youngest were girls.

She sensed that he was not mirroring her level of detail or intending some slight of hand for a more illicit purpose but rather his level of detail was how he always spoke about them to others. “Was he distancing himself from them?” kept running through her head, was he protecting their personal details from others for some perceived paternal reason? Finally she concluded that he did for no purpose other than simplicities sake when telling a story, their position in the family as it was, was nothing more than a reference point for who was doing what in a story. The morning wore onto Midday but the time passed like most people’s youth. It was nearly gone before they realized what a treasure it was.

The end of the visit grew near. Finally the conversation took a turn to a more serious topic.

“Why did you find me?” he asked.

Donna didn’t really know “I heard something that reminded me of you.”

Paul just shook his head “Fair enough,” he offered.

“So why did you write me back?”

He paused and looked away, breaking contact so it was if what he was about to say was a personal admission not meant for another’s ears. “Because when I realized it was you, for a few seconds I remembered and for a few more seconds I actually felt like I was alive again.”

“So why did you want to see me?” she asked.

“To feel that way for just a few more fleeting hours”.

In truth there is nothing quite like the relationships of one’s youth. A puppy even after a lifetime of separation gets excited like a young dog again if it sees the people that cared lovingly for it in the first few years of life. This was no different fond memories from years ago.

“Are you happy?” Donna asked.

“I love my wife and family” a truthful response he did in fact love them, he couldn’t imagine a world with out them but despite his success he hated his life, his pace and everything that made up his day to day existence. He lived with out passion, without excitement and without meaningful intellectual conversation or cultural discourse. Where he lived lacked a pace beyond that of a turtle’s. It lacked stimulation and variety but like so many others he was trapped in a life he had created but just couldn’t quite change to fit who he thought he was or would like to be. He was a big fish in a small pond who missed the danger of a larger predator. Worse he was like Elvis Presley who rose to be the biggest star possible and for his reward he got to do a nightly show in Las Vegas, he too wasn’t creative enough to change his circumstance.

Finally he answered the question “Not really. Are you?”

She answered. “Not yet, but it’s getting closer.”

He just smiled something about her being happy made him smile.

Next Chapter Coffee with the Devil

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