Stares Glances and absurdity
I have decided that a series of recent events are too funny to not share. Sadly I will inform you that many of these pieces seems jaded towards the fairer sex which is rather uncharacteristic of me. Still I’ve decided to share because well frankly some of it is funny, some of it appalling and all of it true.
Often I rant about things that tend to be on the edge of the mainstream and drifting toward the fringe if not well off into the weeds. Not today though today I’m ranting about something rather demure but it seems to be a growing issue in my world.
Simply put I am a man with a wife and two daughters. The oldest of which is 16 and when dressed up god help us all looks and carriers herself like someone 5-6 years older. Sure there have been the few occasion when my itinerate and vile being has explained to some walking hard on she’s a kid so keep moving or risk drawing their last breath. No she’s not half dressed, flamboyant, or anything even bordering age inappropriate. In fact in most cases she’s better dressed than people I see on their way to church…which might be part of the problem. Other than sporting the occasional university sweat shirt there is nothing misleading and since most of this state lives in Mizzou shirts even that’s not odd.
What I’d like to talk about is the women who glare at us as we walk through restaurants and malls together. Their disapproving glances as we pass of the dirty old man with the pretty young girl as the withered old hags who can’t seem to keep their noses or opinions to themselves cast dispersions in my general direction. Now I like to think it’s because they’re jealous that I’m “spoken for” but I’m not sure that’s it.
One old bag a little while back with her size 24ish ass came up to me and said “Don’t you think she’s a little young for you.” All but wagging her finger at me when the young lady was out of ear shot. To which I replied “yeah probably so but considering she’s only here because I fucked her mother I suggest you mind your own business.” Apparently Mrs Nebshit was offended buy my answer. Look I get it most dad’s probably don’t go clothes shopping with their 16 year olds but welcome to the new millennium and shit happens.
Yesterday a gaggle of Flat Landers glared in my general direction as we came out of an afternoon movie. Perhaps I was being paranoid and the snarl at everyone but was it the fact that Diva is young and pretty that garnered their glances. If so here’s my advice, time is a bitch, smoking makes you age, now everybody say it with me “Sunscreen and exercise”. Perhaps that was their assessment but they also glared directly at me in an unwavering fashion so I think once again they misinterpreted the situation. My assessment they all need to go buy a good vibrator and learn to use it. These were not unattractive women but they were also not on the prowl well cared for cougars either.
Not long after we found ourselves in a cantina having a little dinner. A Charter Member of the Butt and Gut Club comes in and this time Diva notices the disapproving look. So I tweet something cavalierly about the situation but it’s still eating at me a little today. Hence my rant.
Look I’m not a dumb ass and know there are 20 year olds banging 40 year olds probably all over the place hence the term trophy wife. Odds are this has been happening since there have been 20 year olds and 40 year olds. I get it but it’s probably obvious by basic body language the nature of the relationship.
Odds are though that there are a lot more men in their 40’s running around with girls in their late teens and early 20’s who are simply father and daughter. So stop assuming some young harlot has stolen another man who might not be frightened off by your age. After all it’s the nasty looks that keep me from flirting with you in the first place…well that and umm that brown velour sweat suit you’re wearing around. Once again say it with me…”there is no such thing as your good sweat suit”
