Just because you own leather pants it doesn’t make you a rock star

Consider this a rant and while there are my usual crude and sexual references there is nothing more here than my opinion based on some recent events. Hint it’s not erotic or dirty.

And just because you’re all dressed up it doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing. I spent much of my youth in clubs and smoky bars watching over dressed posers pretend to be rock stars and some skinny scraggly kid in the tattered pair of Levi’s he lived in because they were his only pair get on stage with a cheap guitar and smoke their sorry asses musically. It’s one thing if your band sucks, it’s another thing if your bands sucks but you can market the hell out of it. Despite that image alone won’t make you. Now taking a walk on the wild side away from the clubs, the vice, and the sin of the dark side and enter my life today. A world of greed, high stakes deals, and well lust.

I look like the old guy in the J Crew catalogs mostly when going through life, Polos’s and sweaters, thought out pants or jeans and over priced shoes. During the day I’m the typical MBA fuck wad Brooks Brothers wearing type guy. It is the Rock Star uniform of my profession and just like the great bands of the 80’s I am surrounded by talentless wanna be’s on occasion. So I choose my group of friends like you would a super group, people who have been there and done that, know what it takes to be a star, still have their chops(or may be better than ever). And guess what? Have no crippling addictions including stupidity. In truth my look is a cross between a bank president and the Gordon Gekco character. In a way I am a bit of peacock wearing fine garments and distinctive ties. Sometimes bold and colorful other times classic. Stripes and patterns in strong colors. I’m not only a dick but I play a giant erection for a living. Which brings me to the point of today’s rant. Clothes alone may not make you what you want to be.

When going to a business meeting a mid 30’S white guy should not wear a burnt orange shirt with a purple tie and putty pants. It doesn’t work. You look like a fucking clown just add big shoes, a group of screaming 8 year olds, balloon tricks and cake.
I’ve rocked a Black suit with a red shirt and red tie. At the time though I was supposed to be the Devil and the host of a heaven and hell party theme party I was throwing. I would never wear that combination to a business meeting any more than my combat boots and cargo shorts. We’re all supposedly grown ups and we’re not in media or entertainment so perhaps try to look like you have a clue.
Give me a hapless somewhat crumpled absolutely brilliant technical mind over a well dressed empty suit any day. But times they are changing and as I watch more people struggle to get out of business casual and back in to sport coats and suits remember this. You can dress for success but you need to be smart. Your half assed lack of insight and nonexistent virtuosity makes you a chump. You my friend are a dinosaur and I am the ice age. That is assuming another predator doesn’t kill and eat you first.
Maybe it’s the schools faults that you can’t think, that you can’t be insightful in any meaningful way and being bold alone is not enough but it helps. Shallow doesn’t work and closed minded is the kiss of death. Maybe it’s you mothers fault you can’t dress yourself.
What do you read? How often? Does it matter? Here’s a hint A nice diet of actually useable material about your industry or profession mixed in with a little global insight not from the cable news channels or NY times will give the ability to mix in facts and perspective from the Playboy article about the Somali Pirates with facts from the same topic in the financial times and the economist and no one will know you also enjoy porn. Interestingly enough I think Playboy had one of the better articles on the topic.

Don’t get me wrong I like a healthy does of all things carnal, and great erotica but it’s a balance with professional obligations as the world around me changes everyday both technologically, politically and economically. (BTW I believe that we will have another down turn before we hit a real recovery)
America has by and large lost the ability to dress for the occasion. Jeans are not formal, there is no such thing as “your good sweat suit”. With rare exceptions by and large we are a nation of under dressed. In church, at returaunts, and even the theater.

Say whatever you like about my morality and lifestyle. Here’s what I do know. I know how to dress for the occasion or event I’m attending. Yes I am a slave to quality, brand and price but it’s the effort and general look that matters not the price. If you are a man and can’t tie a tie learn and put one on once in a while. Having something around your neck does not mean you are suddenly into breath pay and you wife is going to choke you when you cum. I dress conservatively in most situations, Suits for business, weddings, funerals, and anywhere that takes a reservation. I adjust for the region I’m in but prefer to be slightly over dressed.
I wear a costume to costume parties, I wear shorts and sweats to the gym, to go for a run or athletic events only, I have Dickies for work pants in the yard. Denim in a country club is a cardinal sin, too little sun screen at a nude beach will ruin your evening plans.

Now that you know how to dress its time to get a little smarter. Because if you don’t a group of well dressed guys and girls just like me and my friends are going to show up at your customer’s, your employer’s, your girlfriend’s, or your doorstep and guess what we’re not poseurs. We’re been reading and studying. We’ve done the work and know what it takes. We’re planning it all out and don’t let the nice smiles fool you we are ruthless and will do everything we can to take whatever it is we want.

So dress like a rock start, twirl your mic, hump your guitar, party too much, and maybe even try to get laid by some fat girl in your broken down old van. But remember just because you’re wearing leather pants it doesn’t mean your a rock star a fact that will be painfully obvious when I come to your town and show you how it’s really done.