This past holiday weekend while visiting my sister’s family and parents over dinner Sunday night I failed to look shocked when the topic of an acquaintance of my sister’s being a swinger was brought up. “I just don’t approve of their lifestyle” Sis said. BTW there was more to than being a member of the swing set that she objected to and on those points I’d have to agree. Considering the maid of Honor at her weeding was a lesbian she’s usually not one with lifestyle hang ups although seeming has grown more conservative in her old age (she’s now about 33).
I laughed and told her I knew it when I met the couple three years earlier. Explaining that while some people are perceptive and super hero’s all have a special power that if you combined my perception and considered it to be a super power my talent in a comic book would be (ok here’s where you get to use your Superman intro voice …Leaps tall buildings etc) “Picking out Breast implants even good ones in a packed room, stadium, or club. Spotting swingers at a single glance, and combined with an extra ordinary Kinkdar making it impossible for the leather crowd to hide….

Everyone laughed then I declared myself “the Immaculate Saint of Itinerate Souls”. Which was apparently far funnier than I thought. Still gasping for breath from her laughter my mother added “see I told you, you should have started playing Bar Mitzvah’s with your faith healer routine that pissed off the Nuns when you were 12.”
Sadly she wasn’t kidding she wasn’t kidding although I think I was 14 at the time the suggestion was first made.  If nothing else I could have turned sacralidge in to a half way decent living