Not a cry for help
just an observation of what I’ve allowed myself to become.   I
chose to be a monster, it suited me, it fits my nature, along the way I have
made a lot of people very rich and I hate them for it. ….

.. ..

I have an addictive streak in me,

My addictions are seemingly harmless to others.

But in reality I know that they are not and I can’t control
them.

.. ..

I walk on the edge,

Not only do I not know anything else but I don’t want to.

It is that edge that made me who I am and who I will be.

.. ..

There is this dark street, the one you know not to go down
in a strange city at night

Mine is fueled by emotion, by anger, by rage, all packaged
in nice words interspersed with terse sentences.

It is very dangerous. Hope that you do not have the same
street

.. ..

I will self destruct

For seemingly no reason, and without remorse

One of these times nothing will rise from the ashes

.. ..

I am a Destroyer

Even when creating something beautiful I relish in the
destruction of its previous form. Like a fire set loose on a dry ….California…. hillside it doesn’t
matter what’s in my way

I will destroy it wantonly if it doesn’t suit my needs and
on occasion even when it does

.. ..

Being driven is a curse

It’s an obsession, a never ending push, an albatross, a
blight, a damnation of peace of contentment and of things others seemingly
enjoy

Too much is never enough, too much only leads to wanting
more, More only feeds this monster.

.. ..

Anayltical, Sharp, and Adpet

Are just nice words people use instead of Cold, Calculated,
and Teacherous

.. ..

No one has ever called me sane.  Odds are no one ever will

It’s a bit of a joke, I make it myself.   Others
laugh politely and even play along

There are days when I’m not kidding, worse yet there are
days when others know I’m not kidding.   No one says a thing; at least not to my face

.. ..

One day, one or all of these things will kill me,

I’m not sure I care, they already killed who I was.